Have you ever wondered who the hell are you? You may have heard of the quote, “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything”, well, it is completely and utterly true. Are you going through life being the person that your environment moulds you into being or do you have principles, values and standards that mean that you are making your own ‘you shape mould’ on Planet Earth and are changing the course of history along the way? If you want to be a success in life the first step is for you to define who you are and to stick to those values right at the moment that life gets tough, and, I am going to show you how through the technique of Mastering the Moment.
From a young age I was the sort of child who would do anything to fit in – I would say rude words, I would call a bigger lad names (and subsequently get punched!). I so desperately wanted to be liked, to fit in, that I would do whatever the “cool kids” did in the hope of gaining an ounce of respect and become like one of them. The truth is that I didn’t fit in. In fact, I constantly acted and behaved in a way that made me look like a complete tw*t. You may think that this is just childish behaviour and we grow out of it, but the reality is that the same core of this behavior is also found in adults.
You may know someone (intimately!) who displays one personality in front of one person and a whole other personality in front of someone else. You may find this individual constantly lying or acting in loud and extravagent ways in order to get attention. Without a set values to guide us it is all too easy to become like a chameleon, changing your character and principles, in order to fit into your environment and never actually be successful or make YOUR mark on the world.
If you don’t hold fundamental values in your life dear to you and commit to them whenever life throws some crap at you you will do one of five things 1) Run to the alcohol 2) Run to drugs 3) Run to gambling or 4) Run to sex 5) Over eat – why? Because when life hits hardest you will run to one of the biggest five ‘vices’, the thing that gives you the biggest hit of pleasure, in that instant, in order to dull you from the pain.
I firmly believe that for many people morals are flexible when it comes to their own self interest and without values to guide us, when pressure hits, it is easy to bend those morals in a way that will benefit us – stealing, lying, cheating, or having an affair etc. You may not notice such personal crimes, in yourself, because they may not seem so bad, to you. But, what do you do when you get angry? How do you ‘snap’? Do white lies turn into great big ones? Do people want to run to you or do they run a mile from you? Are you giving your best to your relationship? Are you committed to improving yourself day in and day out?
Give yourself permission to start your life change, right now. Make a decision that today you are going to discover your highest values and make a commitment to stick to them and know that as a result of doing so you will bring success and confidence into your life. As you discover your highest values you will be reassured in the knowledge that you are going to positively impact every single person you meet. You will be a life changer.
Grab a pen and paper and grab some space. Spend 5 minutes thinking about the ‘you’ that you would love to be. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have these values or qualities right now, just make a list of values that you consider to be important and write them down.
Your values may include.. being happy, adventurous, loving, giving, entrepreneurial, truthful, bold, daring, peaceful, resourceful, intelligent, confident… just keep writing a list of the 10 values that are the most important for you to have in your life, for you to hold dear.
Now that you have your values that are the most important values to you I want you to write a simple sentence about each value starting with, ‘I am….’ and writing down how you will display that value, as you write these sentences begin to commit them to memory. It is also important to make these sentences specific to your circumstances. For example,
I am loving. It is my goal that every single person I meet is to feel loved by me.
I am confident. No matter what situation I find myself in, even public speaking at work, I am confident.
I am peaceful. Whenever I am at my most stressed, when I feel like I am about to snap an overwhelming peace will consume me.
Make sure that you write a short, simple sentence for every important value that you have decided to become integral to the person that you are. Now that you have your list I want to go ahead and decide that these values are now you, you and these values are one and the same. It doesn’t matter what anyone else knows you as – sad, not confident, angry, you will see people around you stand in utter amazement at the new you and even ask what has happened!
Now, I want you to learn to Master the Moment. There is always one ‘moment’ that becomes the defining moment of change, from peaceful to angry because the kids are running around the house, from confident to petrified as you take a step out on stage, from loving partner to un-loving partner when you are stressed, tired, at the end of the day or when your partner has done that thing that you really hate. This change literally takes place in one moment. It is time to Master the Moment.
You need to know your values inside out, have them on a card and put them in your wallet, purse, or handbag, save them in the notes on your mobile phone, make sure you know them inside out. When that moment comes, the moment that causes you to abandon every value that you hold dear, pause.
You are completely aware of the moment that the ‘switch’ is about to take place, at that moment simply stop, breath deeply and think about the value that you are about to abandon and the corresponding sentence that you have created that describes the new value that you want to be known for. So, if you are in the heat of the moment and you are about to get angry this means you are abandoning two of your most important values, that you are loving and peaceful. Remember your corresponding sentences,”It is my goal that every single person I meet is to feel loved by me” and “Whenever I am at my most stressed, when I feel like I am about to snap an overwhelming peace will consume me”. Focus on the sentence, breath deeply and change your state and Master that Moment – show love and peace in that moment.
Don’t worry about any other moment, just master that one. Once you have mastered that moment, master the next one, continue showing love and peace or the value that is important to you in that situation. Do not think and stress about wondering whether you can ever totally change your values so that you are always kind, nice, loving, adventurous, or whatever your 10 values are. All you need to do is Master that very Moment and, as you join up these moments and master each one of them you are training your body and mind to become these very values, step by step.
I absolutely guarantee that as you start to create a vision of the values that you would like to permanently live out in your life, as you begin to master every moment ensuring that in that moment alone you are completely aligned to your values, you will see a complete and revolutionary change in your life. This change will effect your mind, your body, your attitude, your focus and it will result in you making other dramatic changes as you start to truly be congruent with life that you would like to be known for. I guarantee, you will be a life changer, not simply in your own life, but in the lives of those around you.
Write your 10 values and corresponding sentences and take up the ‘Master the Moment’ 7 day challenge, focussing on mastering every moment with your new values for the next seven days. Watch what happens to your life!
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