Whenever anyone asks me ‘How are you?’ I always respond with, ‘Amazing!’ – my friends are used to this, but whenever I respond in this way to someone I have never met before, it always makes them giggle. I had a conversation with a friend today about the limiting beliefs that we can have around the word ‘amazing’ with some very interesting results that I want to share with you.
This morning I told my friend that I was ‘Amazing’ and he suggested that I was not ‘Amazing’ but that I was ‘good’ or at best ‘very good’. My friend then went on to explain that no one is ‘Amazing’ and it is his belief that if we say that someone is ‘Amazing’ then this elevates one person over another (which, in reality, is probably more of an indication of how my friend feels about himself). However, I believe that we are all amazing in our own unique way.
It is far to easy to get caught up in the ‘humdrum’ of life, in the routine of life – wake up, get the kids ready, breakfast, work, meetings, home, after school activities, food, bed (or some other such similar daily processes), we start to become a ‘human doing’ as opposed to a ‘human being’.
We like distraction though don’t we? Distraction stops us from coming face to face with ourselves. Have you ever just stopped, just paused for a moment to do what you were created to do, to just ‘be’? The chances are that you have not done this for some time because when you stop you are confronted with yourself. When we are confronted with ourselves we are confronted by the fears of who and what we are – am I a good enough parent? Am I a good enough partner? Do I manage my life well enough? Am I too proud, tough, unloving? And the rest of it. It is easy, in life, to focus on our negatives than to take a good look at how amazing we are.
Sure, you get things wrong, we all do, we are ‘human’. But, take a second to think of how amazing you are – look at the way that you have brought up your children, look at the way that you have battled through some pretty tough times in your life, look at the way that you look after people, selflessly, look at the way that people look up to you, respect you, want to be around you. Look at the way that you make people smile. Go on, admit it, you are pretty damn amazing!
It is all too easy to take on board the negative voices of those around us, ‘you are an idiot’, ‘you will never be anything in life’, ‘you’re a looser’, ‘you’re ugly’, than the deep inner voice of our own. I want you to grab a pen and piece of paper and write down all the ways in which you are amazing. If you struggle to start writing the list write down the following, just to get going:
“I am X old and you get up every morning and face life”
“I have X beautiful children”
“I have managed to work x years as an x”
“I have never gone bankrupt”
But I want you to write it it as if you are writing it to yourself, in a personal way. Here is my example:
Mark, you are 33 years old and you get up every morning and face life – you’re amazing.
Mark, you have set up many creative business ideas – you’re amazing.
Mark, despite, at times, finances have been tough you have never gone bankrupt – you’re amazing.
Keep writing your list, keep it personal to you – your relationships, your job, your life, the things that you do – be honest with yourself, honest about how amazing you are. When you start to write this list, your list, about how amazing you are you will start feeling good about yourself.
Keep this list with you, read it every day, read this list when you are feeling down, read this list when others make you feel bad. Let your knowledge of how amazing you are be the loudest voice in your head, heart, mind and life.
I can’t express enough exactly just how amazing you are, you’re amazing-ness is beyond words, because you are literally THAT amazing. When you start to realise just how amazing you are you will develop a new confidence, you will have a new bounce in your step and you will take on life in a whole new way. Enjoy it!
And remember, whenever you go about your day and someone else is starting to annoy you, when you start to focus on just how annoying they are, stop. This ‘annoying person’ is actually amazing too. Whenever you start a conversation in your head about how annoying someone is, how you would like them to shut up, how they piss you off, stop yourself and start a new internal conversation about this person “X is amazing because…”
When you focus on your amazing-ness and the amazing-ness in the people that you encounter every day your mind will be open to how incredible both the world is and the people in it. An open positive mind creates exciting new opportunities which will be the beginning of your life change.
You’re amazing!
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Nice post man! I may be in debt but I have not and do not plan to go bankrupt! I am amazing!
Emma, thank you heaps for your comments. Finances is a crazy one, we live in a western culture whereby we place a level of importance on a persons finances – what job you have, your income, whether you run a business. Somehow, in some way, we place a greater importance on those who have more money, than those who don’t. Ya know, you are amazing, irrespective of your job, irrespective of the money that you earn, irrespective of the financial mistakes that you may have previously made. You are amazing because you are YOU!
Thank you for supporting my site Emma.
What can I say, you’re amazing! I’m totally linking to this in my next blog post.
No life is of more or less importance to any other regardless of wealth (be that monetary or knowledge or any other wealth) Thanks for helping me see that.
What’s wrong with going bankrupt?
You talk about not placing importance on finances yet you use the fact you haven’t gone bankrupt as a celebration mechanism.
I speak from personal experience of bankruptcy and it was the best thing I ever did. It allowed me to end the suffocation of debt, draw a line and start again. I’m debt free and since being discharged have built a small business which I have this week sold for a modest return which is now being reinvested into a new venture.
Celebrating the fact you have not gone bankrupt isn’t wise as it might one day be an option, plus it’s not always your decision as a financial institute can make you bankrupt.
The stigma attached to bankruptcy is crap and people should live to make decisions for themselves, decisions that aren’t easy instead of living to ‘people please’.
So if you are going to do one thing today, be honest with yourself and if you need to address your crippling financial issues – do it even if you have to swallow bankruptcy as an option and stop celebrating the fact you haven’t gone bankrupt which is delaying you seeing the real shit in your life.
No offence meant but if you really want to change your life, it needs tough decision making and action. Not a pocket list of fluffy celebrations that say ‘you might be in crippling debt, but at least your not bankrupt’. Keep reading that and within a year or so you might well be…
Scott, there is nothing wrong with going bankrupt as a last resort, nevertheless, bankruptcy is not a goal to be desired with hedonistic abandonment.
The comment in my blog is focused on encouraging people who have got into financial difficulties but who have created goals to maximise income and minimise output and I am aware of a good number of people who are doing this. If people are watching their friends go out and spending significant amount of money on drink and yet they are staying in with a focus on saving and clearing out the debt I believe that this attitude should be celebrated. I don’t think we should be encouraging an attitude that has no fear of bankruptcy as it is ‘not so bad’.
Nevertheless, I do agree. If you cannot increase your income and you cannot lower your outgoings anymore, if there literally is nothing else you can do then bankruptcy may well be the best solution. I would always suggested getting professional financial advice before anyone does make any serious decisions of a financial nature.
Well done though Scott, it is inspiring to see how you have tackled your financial situation, have dealt with it and are now seeing the benefits. If you would ever like to write a blog of your experience for http://www.markbowness.com then do let me know.
[...] You do have skills. It might just take you a while to remember what they are. Ask friends and family for advice. Remind yourself that you are amazing [...]
I totally agree with the sentiments about not losing sight of the positives in your life. It’s important to see and acknowledging the best in yourself and others. And that’s especially true when a certain element of your own or another person’s character/behaviour is annoying, or even repulsive. There are a few people I have met in my life who I genuinely do not like and find the way they conduct themselves to be unacceptable. However, it is important to remember that a) you are only seeing an element of that person’s character, b) their life experiences have shaped who they are – nobody sets out to be a knob! c) your opinion and perspective are likely biased and based on your own cultural codes and ideals.
However, if somebody asks me how I am, I tend to say “well” or “good”. If I really am ‘amazing’, that has to be defined as far better than my normal mood. If you describe yourself as amazing to everybody, all the time, then you dilute the real meaning of that word. Instead, it will be interpreted as a front and/or denial of the reality that your mood is simply “good”. What do you say when you really are feeling “amazing”?
I am all for positive thought – if you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will. You have to find the strength to deal with all of your flaws and perceived failings. But I also believe that you have to be rational and admit that, yes you are alive and all of these other things, but the very beauty of feeling “amazing” is in the fact that we don’t always feel like that. That is life. If I am going to be pretentious about it, the poet John Keats wrote about this exact sentiment. The only reason you feel great is because you know how it feels to feel terrible.
Feeling great is relative, so don’t lose that relation or it means nothing.
Like the blog though Mark, and I can see this being a real inspiration to people who feel low.
Mark, thank you so much for your comment – some great points.
I think the key here is to differentiate between the ‘amazing-ness’ of human life, of being alive and the feeling of being ‘amazing’:
Human beings are amazing and this is the point that I was trying to get it. We have the capacity to love, live, create, grow, change, build, make, laugh, cry and a whole heap of other emotions and skills. Human life is absolutely amazing and it’s easy to lose sight of that in the busy-ness of life, or when we are feeling down.
The second point is the states that we feel – whether this be happy, great, sad or, indeed, amazing. I take your point that we have to have experienced sad or great to fully appreciate amazing – but we have experience that now, so we know the difference. What I have found is that we have the ability to change our state – whatever you focus on, you become. This is much more than having a positive attitude, in fact it is making a decision about the state that you want to be in and ensuring that your body, mind and physiology are in complete alignment with this. When people ask me how I am doing and I state ‘amazing’, no matter what I felt previously, I literally do feel amazing. When I make this proclamation I feel better, I have more energy, my productivity is higher and my output is better than being in a state of ‘great’. My body and mind really do feel amazing – you should try it.
The reality is, and this is my belief, I am alive, I am healthy, I have a great job, I have fantastic friends – there is absolutely no reason at all why I should not feel ‘AMAZING’!
Make it rock,
Mark
This is such a great blog post! Appreciating the hard work you put into your site. It’s an awesome blog.
Thank you Linda. I am passionate about helping people as much as possible which is why I invest my time into writing these blogs and I am starting to put together podcasts, completely free, to ensure that people have all the resources they need to change their lives. Exciting stuff!